Her Broken Highlander (Highlanders 0f Cadney Book 3) Read online

  He watched her walk along the edge of the keep walls, her hand ungloved and running along the wall as if to keep her way in the darkness. His memory of her from four years past did no real justice to her true beauty. It wasn’t simply that she was bonny to set eyes on, though she was lovely enough. It was more of a way of movement, a grace that pulled at the very core of him. She looked up just as the green and red flashes of light of the northern sky skated across their view. Gavin heard her sharp intake of breath.

  “We call ‘em Na Fir Chlis,” he said, coming forward from the shadows. “Or in English, th’ Nimble Men.” She turned and offered him a weak smile.

  “Tell me about them.”

  “When we were lads, my Da told Lucas an’ me when the green lights appeared in the sky, a clan of nimble warrior men were fighting a great battle against evil.” He reached down and picked up a small, smooth stone from a small pile stacked against the wall. It was dark and flecked with spots of red, barely visible in the moonlight. He handed the stone to Amelia. “As the blood of their enemies spilled and fell upon the earth, our soft, highland rock would absorb their blood, and whatever lad found the bloodstone would have luck all the year-long. When the battle above was over, and the nimble men had won, the red lights would begin to dance across the night sky. These were the ladies who loved the warriors, welcoming them home from a good and fair fight. We call them the merry dancers.”

  “I’ve never seen anything so beautiful.”

  “Nor have I,” he replied, but he wasn’t looking at the sky, and in the soft, pale moonlight, he could see her cheeks warm with a blush that only served to make her more beautiful. He reached out and ran his fingers down her cheek, lured by an unseen force to touch her. She sighed and leaned into his palm. “What are ye doin’ here, lass, and why did ye lie tae Ella about how long ye’ve been in Scotland?”

  “You wouldn’t understand.”

  “Can ye not try tae explain it?” Amelia let out a deep sigh. He couldn’t explain to himself why, but her trust was important. More than her trust in him, he also wanted to know if he could trust her. That is was more than a physical reaction that bound him to her.

  “I’m looking for a baby. Well, not a baby any longer, most likely a young man now. I know he is somewhere in the Highlands, but I’m not sure where. I’ve been searching for over four years.”

  Gavin didn’t know what he was expecting her to say, but it certainly wasn’t what escaped her lips. A young man? Surely, she was too young to have borne a child that would be older than a lad now?

  “I doona mean tae question ye, lass. But whose bairn would it be?” She looked up at him, and in the moonlight, he saw the depth of emotion in her eyes.

  “My mother’s.” Gavin held back his surprise. He didn’t know much about Ella, Amelia, and their family, but he knew their mother had died in childbirth many years earlier. The babe was also said to have died. A son.

  “I thought the bairn didnae make it through th’ birth?”

  “That’s what we were always told. When Ella left, Father had already been ill, we didn’t know. On his deathbed, he confessed that the baby survived and wasn’t his. It was guilt he carried with him that forced the confession. He was so angry at mother for straying from their marriage that he couldn’t stand the thought of raising a son that wasn’t his. He would rather have people think the baby died as well.” She wiped a tear from her cheek. Gavin understood she wasn’t sparing the emotion for her dead father, but rather her mother and the poor babe.

  “What made ye think the babe lived in Scotland?”

  “Father didn’t reveal much, but he said the baby’s true father was a bastard, a stable master he’d hired to work the horses. In his words, he sent the baby back to Scotland to be raised by his heathen sire. Our maid, Gwen, she remembered the man saying he was from the Highlands; he wore a plaid of blue and yellow. I didn’t know where to start, but eventually, as you know, I made it to Perth.” The mention of Perth made Gavin tense. His heart began to race, any mention of his time in the gaol caused an involuntary response in him. He hoped Amelia didn’t notice the change. As he struggled to control himself, he focused on the gold of her hair as it glinted in the moonlight.

  That’s right, Gav, just keep breathin’. In an’ out, He paused to gather himself before speaking again.

  “And what happened in Perth?”

  “In Perth, before we met, I found out about a baby who was given to a highland laird named Cabduh, who took the child in. But the trail went cold. It seems no one much likes to discuss the Cabduh clan, which is curious.” She looked perplexed and then waved her hand as if banishing an errant thought away. Gavin found everything about her movements fascinating but hearing the name Cabduh gave him pause.

  “What then, lass?”

  “Then everything happened with the prisoners and the horses.” She took a deep breath, before continuing and Gavin followed suit. That day burned into his memory, and it seemed hers, as well. “That’s when I stopped looking for the child while I tried to find you, with no luck. I needed to leave Perth and resume my search. I thought the best way for me to learn more was to come deeper into the Highlands. I worked as a maid in several inns, learning everything I could. I tried to find out more, but I’m an English woman, alone in a place that doesn’t care much for the English. Not surprisingly, the trail went cold. Eventually, I ended up close to Cadney.”

  “Why would ye not tell Ella all of this? Surely she would understand and help?”

  “I didn’t want to worry or plague her. She is so happy. It’s best she doesn’t learn any of this until I find the boy. Until I have proof that this all wasn’t just another manipulation by our father.” Amelia stepped away from him then, and Gavin found he missed the warmth of her body near his.

  There was only hurt and disappointment in her future on this path, and he wanted to protect her from it. Even if the child survived, which he doubted. If she continued to search, and that search led her to Cabduh, there would be nothing but danger for her there. No one hated the English more than Laird Cabduh, and he wasn’t in his right mind. Gavin needed to discourage her.

  “’Tis a fool’s errand, lass. Even if the lad lives, he was raised a Scot, he’ll nay want anythin’ tae do with ye.”

  “Don’t you see, I have to try. Not for me, but for Ella. Our mother and brother’s deaths hit her harder than she would ever let on. I’m her sister, I know. If somehow I could find him, bring him into our family, she would be happy.” Gavin grabbed Amelia’s arm, noting how delicate her bare skin was against the roughness of his hands as he pulled her into his arms.

  “Ahhh, lass, but don’t ye see. Ella’s already happy. She doesnae need anythin’ more. She has Lucas, the bairns, and now ye.”

  “You’re wrong. She needs this!”

  “Is it possible, lass, that ye need this?”

  Amelia shook her head in defiance of what Gavin knew was the truth. Amelia needed to find her lost brother. She needed to complete her family to be complete herself. Something in that vulnerability struck Gavin to his core. He looked into her eyes, not surprised to find them shimmering with unshed tears. He brought his hands up to place gently behind her head. Threading her soft hair into his hand, he drew her close and gently brought her mouth to his.

  He wanted to reassure her. She was not alone. She could find happiness.

  Chapter Four

  He was here, now, after all this time, kissing her. Amelia leaned into Gavin, relishing the hard feel of his muscled chest against her hands as she grabbed his shirt and deepened the kiss.

  She wanted to forget. Forget that he was right, her only goal for the last four years had been to prove her father truly was the monster she thought he was. To prove that the baby that was the last product of love, her mother made was well and taken care of. To prove to Ella she wasn’t just a child herself, that she had worth. Gavin was here, now, after all this time, kissing her, proving to her that she was more.

  C
oherent thought left her as Gavin urged her to open for him. Shocking her as he used his tongue to taste and tease her. This was unlike any idea she’d had of kissing. If it hadn’t felt so good, she would have pushed him away from the sheer intensity of it. She had never imagined kissing could be so… so, intimate.

  “Gavin,” she husked, his name the only sound she could make as she pulled back slightly to draw breath.

  “Och, lass. We shouldn’t.” He stepped back, putting too much space between them, misinterpreting her movements. She wasn’t ready for their kiss to end, tightening her grip on his clothing. Amelia pulled herself into him again. His words trailed away as she leaned up and took his mouth with her own, reading his kiss back to him with her actions in a perfect dance. A soft murmur from somewhere deep bubbled up from her as their lips met. Gavin groaned as he moved his hands from her shoulders and captured her waist. She felt the power in his grip and heat pooled at her center. She wasn’t sure what it meant, only that she needed to be nearer to him. She wanted to feel the length of him against her. He pushed her against the cold stone of the keep’s outer wall, moving his knee to spread her legs, and she pressed herself to him, hoping to cool some of the fire that raged in her as his tongue swept through her mouth and his hands ground her middle. Rough need poured through her that crossed miles and years. She arched her back, breaking their kiss, allowing him to move his mouth from hers and trail light nipping, across her jawline, finally ending at the softness of her earlobe.

  “Lass, how long I’ve dreamed of ye like this, and more,” he whispered, sending a spasm of pleasure down her spine. He was here, he was kissing her. The hard length of his manhood pressing into her center assured her he was very real. Then, as seemingly quick as their kiss had started, he was pulling away from her, running his hands through his ginger locks.

  “Gavin, what is it?” she asked, her body already shivering from the cold and his missing warmth.

  “Shhh, lass,” he said as he moved to shield Amelia from the darkness. “There was a sound from around the keep’s corner. Someone is coming close. I willnae let ye be seen like this.” Unaware of her appearance, she wondered seen like how? Compromised? Ravished? Loved? Her hand reflexively went to her hair, as she tried to replace the pins that had been put asunder by their kiss. She heard the sounds as well.

  Gavin’s body tensed as the sounds grew closer. Amelia couldn’t help but notice how tightly he was wound.

  What happened to him in gaol?

  Three incredibly drunk clansmen rounded the corner, singing and clanking their tankards together. They were boisterously singing a song Amelia had never heard before, and she was quite sure they were missing a good number of the proper words. She stifled a laugh.

  “I don’t think we’re in any danger from those men,” she said, still smiling.

  “Nay, lass, I doona think we are. But maybe we should get back to th’ feast before we are missed.” He offered her his arm, and because Amelia knew he was right, she took it.

  * * *

  Sometime after dawn, Amelia realized sleep would not come for her. She made her way through the hallways of the keep in search of the Laird’s library. With the whole of the castle still abed after the feast the night before, Amelia found solace in the ancient stone walls with no one else about.

  Opening the heavy wood doors that led into the massive library, Amelia gasped in delight. She wasn’t looking for anything, just a quiet space, surrounded by books and papers where she could think. The MacGille library was just that. Walls upon walls filled to the brim with thick volumes accentuated the fine leather furniture and gigantic hearth. Even though the fire had died down, the embers were still vibrant enough to cast a warm glow in the room, and Amelia was absorbed in shelf after shelf of the written word. Large histories of each highland clan seemed to go on forever, Amelia wasn’t aware before this that anyone had begun to write such histories down. What would she learn?

  She pulled one heavy tome off a shelf. If she happened to stumble upon some information about the clan Cabduh, or anything that may help her in her search, it would be welcomed, even if unexpected. She moved with the book to one of the oversized chairs that faced an eastern window, allowing the light to come in to make it easier for Amelia to read. Sinking into the chair and wrapping her plaid about her legs, she tucked in for a good read.

  Amelia was so absorbed in the bloody history of the MacLeod clan, a rare highland clan that dealt in horses and cattle. She had all but forgotten about everything else and failed to notice the castle stirring around her to start the day. Enough time had passed that an angry growl from her stomach let her know it was time to rest her eyes and go in search of food.

  Letting out a yawn and a deep stretch, Amelia smiled, letting her thoughts drift briefly to Gavin. To say she was stunned to see him, and here of all places, was an understatement indeed. Scotland was a large country. Finding out the man who had haunted her dreams for so long was her sister’s brother in-law was a shock. She can’t believe she trusted him with her true reason for being in Scotland in the first place, but there was something that connected them. She couldn’t fight it. There was something in Gavin that drew her to him from the very beginning, all those years ago, and now, by a chance meeting, she knew it was still there. True, he’d made her angry, calling her out for her reasons in searching for her brother, challenging her, but when she allowed her mind to wander to their kiss the night before, she was no longer angry. Instead, she found herself wanting more.

  As if conjuring him from thin air, the library door opened, and Gavin walked in.

  Their eyes caught, and the heat of a blush crept up her cheeks as if he’d caught her replaying their embrace.

  “What are you doing here?” Under his gaze, Amelia became painfully aware of her body. She was only wearing her night rail, practically naked. The heat he created with just a look was staggering. How could he make her feel so alarmed and aroused at the same time? She pulled the woolen plaid from the chair and wrapped it tightly around her, trying to conceal any part of her that could be deemed improper.

  “Last time I checked, this was th’ MacGille library, lass. And I’m a MacGille, am I not?” he flashed a cocky smile and walked toward the large desk in the middle of the room. “I should be askin’ ye what it is yer doin’ here. It’s the wee morn; should ye not be a bed?” The way he said bed sent a shiver down Amelia’s spine. She held up the book, doing her best to convey defiance and nonchalance.

  “I couldn’t sleep, so I came down for a little light reading.”

  “Aye, I see. Th’ MacLeods, eh? I’ve heard a bit about them, on me travels. A reclusive clan,” he gestured for her to sit closer to where he was behind the desk, and her feet moved her to where he pointed, independent of her brain.

  “Is there a book here about the Cabduh?” she knew he thought her need to keep trying to locate her brother was a fool’s errand, but it was an opportunity she couldn’t pass up.

  Mayhap in the morning light, he would be more willing to see things from her point of view. After all, she’d heard from Ella that it was the love of his sister, Milly, and her unwillingness to give up that allowed him to finally escape the horrors of prison. He couldn’t so easily dismiss her need when it was so similar to what had spared him, could he?

  “Nay, lass. I wouldnae think there would be any man brave enough tae put up with their laird long enough tae write one.” Amelia leaned forward with her hands on her knees.

  “Tell me about them?”

  “The Cabduh clan and the MacGille clan are allies, ’tis sure enough, but only out of sheer necessity and my brother’s will tae nay fight when it’s nae necessary. Their laird is peculiar and volatile. No one goes to Cabduh without an invitation from him. ’Tis not kent why he is this way. If ye simply show up, th’ best result would be they turn ye away, but ye canna count on that.” He stood and crossed the room to a globe of the Earth that sat on a wooden pedestal. It was a stunning and rare piece. When she fi
rst saw it, the globe took Amelia’s breath away. She briefly wondered where the MacGille family had come across such an intricate and beautiful artwork. Though she shouldn’t be surprised, the keep was filled with all manner of works of art from paintings to tapestries. Even the flatware and tankards they used at the evening meal were ornate and beautifully decorated.

  “Me Da loved this globe,” Gavin said thoughtfully. “He loved to learn about places far away from our own.” Amelia saw a lot of the late laird in his sons. They both had the same curiosity for the world around them. Maybe someday she would be able to learn more from Gavin about what it was like to grow up with such an interesting father. Her own was useless, hard, and Amelia did not think he was curious about anything other than his own greed.

  “You said the best result would be to get turned away. What, then, would be the worst?” she wanted to turn the conversation back to the issue at hand. Gavin didn’t know her very well, and Amelia hadn’t come this far to be dissuaded, difficult laird or no.